What a day

I had quite the eventful day today.  Starting at about 11 o'clock last night I was having the most horrible stomach pains I have ever felt! I could not even stand up straight.  Some felt like Braxton hicks contractions while others was more like a knife going inside my belly button and just twisting my insides.  It was excruciating.  Well they pains tapered off about 1:30 this morning and then when I woke up I was having just mild pains here and there.  Also, yesterday I started leaking fluid.  This I account to trying to do too much while decorating my classroom...Anyway, I called Dr. Melton and he told me I needed to go to Labor and Delivery for observation...Flash forward to about noon...I get to the hospital, get all hooked up to monitors and such and wait. And wait. And wait. And wait some more...Geez, not very easy for this adhd girl... Finally after all the monitoring and tests (which included an ultrasound where I got to see my beautiful little boy, who so proudly showed his NeNe and I his "boy parts" in all their glory) They told me that Trey checked out perfect, that my amniotic fluid was great, BP was good, I just had a bacterial infection that was causing the stomach pains. Thank goodness! I got some antibiotics and left there about 6:30.  Man that was a long day, and very stressful.  When we first got to the hospital the nurses could not find Trey's heartbeat.  It took them 2 nurses and about 15 minutes to get his heartbeat to come out.  All the while I felt like my heart was about to explode.  It was the most miserable, helpless feeling.  Thank goodness for Jessica, she found it right off the get go when she got the Doppler.  I count this to the fact that she was really very pretty and that my son is already a flirt, lol :)
While we were at the hospital I got to meet my new baby cousin, Briar Austin Bernal.  Corrie delivered him about noon I think.  He weighed 8 pounds 11 ounces.  Briar is beautiful and has a headful of sandy blonde hair.  :) Congratulations Corrie and Bubba! <3
When we left the hospital I was talking to mom about missing Derrek, just like I always do.  Today made me realize even more that I won't be able to see Derrek told his son with the biggest possible grin on that gorgeous face of his.  Breaks my heart even further.  I know Derrek will be watching from Heaven when his son is coming into this world, but seriously is it too much to ask that he is right there by my side holding my hand? I really need him there.  I need him to help me with my breathing, to hold my hand during the epidural, to soothe me before the epidural; I just NEED him to be there.  I need to see that beautiful face with that million dollar smile telling me how proud of me his is while holding our son.  Geez, I know God has a plan but right now the water I'm is so thick it’s like mud and I can't see through it...One day Brook, One day....O and I thought of another thing that Derrek will miss.  Our family picture with Trey.  Ya know the cute little pictures that you take with your husband when the baby is like a week old?  I won't have Derrek here to take a picture with Trey and I. :'( seems frivolous among all the other stuff that he is going to miss, but it still sends a stab through my heart thinking about it.
One a little brighter note, I am reminded everyday how blessed I am to have such amazing family and friends.  As I was going to the hospital I called Derrek’s step mom and his Granny to tell them what was going on.  I try to keep everyone in the loop with what is going on with Trey because not only is he my only piece of Derrek, but he is everyone else’s little piece too.  He already is a pretty important little boy <3. Anyway, I can trust Granny and Kim to let the others know if need be, and also to continuously send up prayers for Trey and I.  I am so lucky that I am so close to Derrek’s family, my family, and that I have so many amazing friends who believe in the power of prayer.  I guarantee you that is what has got me this far—14 weeks and 5 days without Derrek now.  Derrek’s Granny and his dad, Jesse, call me about every other day to check in on Trey and me, and I appreciate it so much.  It really means the world to me that they love me and Trey so much.  I am just surrounded my wonderful people. Thank the good Lord.  He knew I couldn’t fight this battle by myself.
Well I think that is enough for tonight, I am about to go to bed.  Too eventful of a day for me…maybe tomorrow will be calmer…

Until next time, God Bless

Love,

Brook Snodgrass

                                                    Derrek and I on the "lucky" pig in Pikes Market in Seattle.  July 2010.

              Mom, Courtney, me, Dad, and Derrek outside the balcony on our cruise ship in Alaska. July 2010

 Dad, Mom, Courtney, me, and Derrek after we took a float plan ride over parts of Ketchikan, Alaska.  July 2010.

 Me aggravating Derrek on the cruise. and Yes, he did fall alseep during dinner, which totally gives me permission to take photos of him passed out while me up to no good <3